how many times

so I'm sitting in my room couple days ago and a song that I haven't heard in a really long time suddenly pops in my head. Maybe you've heard it before. Its called Grace by Silers Bald. . Here are the words

My heart is so proud.

My eyes are so unfocused.

I see the things You've done through me

As great things I have done.

And now You gently break me.

I cry just like a baby.

You hold me as my Father,

And mold me as my Maker.

Chorus:

And I ask You

How many times will You pick me up.

When I keep on letting You down?

And each time I will fall short of Your glory,

How far will forgiveness aboud?

And You answer, "My child, I love you,

And as long as you're seeking My face,

You'll walk in the power of My daily sufficient, grace."

At times I may grow weak.

And feel a bit discouraged.

Knowing that someone somewhere

Can do a better job.

For who am I to serve You?

I know, I don't deserve You.

But that's the part, that burns in my heart,

And keeps me hanging on.

(Chorus)

And You are so patient with me, Lord.

As I walk with You, I'm learning

About what Your grace really means.

How all of my transgressions

Were paid at Calvary.

So istead of trying to repay You,

I'm learning to simply obey You.

By giving up my life to You

For all that You've given to me.

(Chorus)

"My daily sufficient grace."

The words to the song really struck me. God is always there for us. When we are proud and unfocused, when we have our eyes and hearts set on everything but Him. NO matter how many times we continue to let God down, He is always there to pick us up again! That is what God is continuing to show me each and every day. He loves us beyond description, and no matter how many times we stray away from Him, no matter how much we let Him down. He will always pick us up again and be there for us. I hope this is some encouragement like it is to me. But always remember, God will always be there to pick you up, and wrap His arms around you and tell you that He Loves You.

what happened???

so i don't talk about my older sister alot, just because we are not as close as we use to be when we were kids. we pretty much grew up, and went our separate ways. I remember when we were younger we would always do everything together. if she would go to our nanny and papa's house i'd be right by her side. I wanted to do everything like she did, saying she was older than me and i looked up to her. Well when we were in our teenage years i remember one day she was moving out of our house and going to live with my nanny and papa. At the time I didn't understand why she had to leave, but when I got older I knew it was because my papa had become very very sick, and she was going to go live with nanny to help take care of them. Well she went to live in Anderson with them and started going to Anderson county schools. Well she gradually stopped coming here on the weekends to visit us, and then stopped coming completely. I would go over and stay with her and nanny on occasion but I never really liked going to hang out with the people she would hang out with. They all smoked and drank and stuff and were older than me. I didn't think it was cool, but i wanted to have that relationship with my sister, so if hanging out with her friends is what it was going to take to be able to hang out with her, thats what i was going to do. I remember one time. she got me to lie to nanny for we could go to the lake and hang out with this guy that she liked. I'll be honest i felt bad for lying but it was fun going to the lake and out on the boat. Well her friend came along too and she liked this other guy that was going to be there also, so I was kinda the third wheel in this whole situation which wasn't fun. . . but i was getting to hang out with my big sister and that was all that mattered. . . .well to make a long story short. . . . my sister missed my 16th birthday which is a very important milestone in a teenagers life, . , and about a month later I found out I was going to be an aunt. . . . well I was excited that I was gong to be an aunt, but still upset with my sister that she missed my 16th birthday!. . . . .so my nephew was born, and ever since he has been born its been a battle on us getting to see him. See her boyfriend doesn't really like us all that much, and so yeah he pretty much doesn't let us see my nephew. . . Well now she is going to have another baby and its going to be a little girl,. . and i would do anything to be able to hold my little niece close and tell her how much I love her, and that I will always be there for her. . . but I don't know if I will ever get that opportunity with how things are looking right now. . . I had a chance to talk to my aunt on Friday before I came home, (because my niece is suppose to be born this weekend) but my aunt informed me that the only people she wanted at the hospital was her boyfriends family. . . . Its crazy, you would think she would want her family to be there. . .but thats wrong. . .All i can do is pray that God will change my sisters attitude about the whole situation because He can do that!! And I have faith that He will. . . . So that is what is on my mind right now, and I couldn't concentrate on writing my paper because my mind kept going off and thinking about my little niece who hasn't been born, and all I want is to be able to hold her close, and tell her how much I love her. . . and now that I got that out. . . maybe now I will be able to write my paper for my final exam! .. . until next time

~KHB

camp! :)

so I haven't posted in a while and Im about to be going to camp for the summer. Last summer was my first year on staff at camp La Vida and I absolutly loved every minute of it. All the campers and helpin them grow or begin their walk with Jesus. its really amazing. So Monday morning i head off to camp again for my second summer and i cant wait! I know God is planning some amazing things that are going to happen. My summer address will be

218 La Vida Rd
Winnsboro SC 29180

more to come after the summer :)

From The Inside Out

So Thursday night I went to BSU with some friends that came down to visit. . . . . I forgot the speakers name, but she is a radio talk show person, and she was on Survivor China. . . . . anyways that is besides the point. The message she brought was pretty much amazing, and I am going to tell you what she spoke about. 1. We have to remember where we came from, in Titus 3:3-6 it says, "At one time we too were foolish, disobedient, deceived and enslaved by all kinds of passions and pleasures. We lived in malice and envy, being hated and hating one another. But when the kindness and love of God our Savior appeared, he saved us, not because of the things we had done, but because of his mercy. He saved us through the washing of rebirth and renewal by the Holy Spirit, whom he poured out on us generously through Jesus Christ our Savior." The next thing she talked about was We should Pray that God will show us the person the way he sees them. In 1 Samuel 16:7 the Lord is talking to Samuel, and the last part of the verse says. "The Lord does not look at the things man looks at, Man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart." And that is something we all are guilty of. We focus so much on what a person looks like on the outside, and do not even bother to find out where they stand on the inside. this leads into the next point, We have to remember We are NOT the judge! 1 Cor. 15 and James 4:12. It is not our job to judge a person, leave that up to God, We are pointing out people's sin, instead of loving them where they are. We are called to "Love above all else." Ecclesiates 3:11 says, "He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the hearts of men; yet they cannot fathom what God has done from beginning to end." We are all craving for the same thing: to be loved, and accepted!. We have to listen first if we want to be heard, Proverbs 18. And one of the last things she said was, If we say we are a believer, we should act like one. Have a bold sense of sadness not anger.. . . A lot of times I find myself judging someone before I even know them, and when I actually get to know them, they are actually not that bad......So i was sitting in my room tonight playing some praise and worship songs on guitar, and the first part of the message just kept coming back to me, and the verse from Titus, remember where I came from. So I began to look back over my life from the past couple of years, and God has brought me out of a lot, and I often lose sight of where I did come from and what I came through, and I was amazed to see how far God brought me, and molded me into the person I am today. Which made the song "From The Inside Out" By Hillsong. That song is true in my life. I have failed God over and over, and He knows that i will stumble but yet He still covers me with His grace. . . He has in fact changed me from the inside out! .

Random.. . .

We have about 3 weeks of school left in the semester.. I'm super excited, then I have a month and Im off to camp! I can not wait until the summer. Just to know that God is already at work in the Staffer's hearts as well as the campers that will come throughout the summer! I know it is going to be an amazing summer!! Well I think Im about to go to bed. until next time. . . .

Spring Break

I was given the opportunity to spend my Spring Break in Honduras with a Mission Team from School. We spent the week working at a camp for youth from 5 different villages, going to this school, and visiting an Orphanage. First off if you don't know me. . . I absolutly Love kids!! Thats what I want to do when I graduate college, is work in an Orphanage. ok back to the trip. . . The camp lasted 3 days, and we did bible studies, played games, sang fun songs, and had a wonderful worship service each night, You could really feel God's presence there! At the end of the camp 3 young men surrendered their all and gave their lives to Christ. After the campers left we went to a local pool and witnessed 6 people make a public profession in their faith, and saw them get baptised. The next day we went back to the first place we stayed and got cleaned up and traveled to the school, and the Orphanage. From the school you could notice these little blobs forming on the fence across the field from the school. It was the kids. We got on the bus and went down this small road and very small bridge until we reached this bobwired fence. We pulled the bus in and got off. Right when you stepped foot on the ground you had little kids all over you. This one little girl hooked onto me right away, alot of the kids did not speek English, which was a struggle for me saying I know hardly any Spanish. So i just let her take me where she wanted to. Which I did not mind at all. SO for the hour we had, these kids were ours to love and be everything for them. We eventually ended up inside this little living room of one of the houses with about 75 kids sitting around this small tv watching a movie. This little girl was sitting on the bench outside of the house who was no older than 3 and she was crying. I went over and picked her up and just loved on her. I didn't want to leave her. She stopped crying, and eventually fell asleep on me during the movie. Seeing her lay there helpless made me wonder, why did she have to go through what she did. . . See the thing about this Orphanage is all the Kids were removed from their families by the government for sexual and physical abuse. . . . The horn blew and this was our que that it was time to leave. The time seemed to fly by, and i was not ready to leave. We gave the kids hugs and told them by, it almost brought tears to my eyes seeing them cry as our bus drove away. . . We went back to the place we where we was staying and had dinner and hung out. The last day we got to shop in the Valley of the Angels. It was really fun, and I got a lot of home made things. Then we went to this giant Jesus Statue that over looked the capital. . . You could see the scars on Jesus' hands and feet, and this made me stop and think that My Savior died for me, to give me life, and I need to surrender my all to him, and that even though I can not stay in Honduras. He holds the world in his hands. . . I am really blessed to have gotten to go on the trip and be a shining light in peoples dark world for a week, and just show them love, and how it feels. . . . Well I'm off to finish writing a paper.